You can't always get what you want English
by Firenze.Sun
Summary: House wakes up after trying to save Amber's life and he founds out something. Not only that he is about to lose Wilson for ever, but something more. Ang he decides to risk everything. Hilson fic. Spoilers end fourth season.


**A.N.**: Well, before you start I won't tell you anything because I don't wanna spoil you the surprise. I hope that I didn't make too many mistakes durignthe translation!

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**You can't always get what you want**

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It was after he left that he realized it, after they look that they exchanged, in which a pair of asked for forgiveness screaming and the other one that didn't forgive. It was in those moments of loneliness while Cuddy slept at his side holding his hand that he everything cleared up for him. Probably, things took their respective perspective when he felt that he lost him forever. He realized the true reason why he had risked his life for the possibility to save Amber, the reason of why he had let that tear go.

He noticed that it couldn't only be because he was his only friend he had, nor that it was the only true relationship that he had. There was a deeper reason. Terrified, House realized that he loved his friend, and like something more than a friend. Yes, Gregory House was admitting a feeling, and a very strong one. He couldn't allow himself to lose him, he wanted to stand up and go after him immediately, but as soon as he started to move, the machine begun to beep, giving him away. He had to wait until he was discharge.

Right after he went to Wilson's apartment, with an uncomfortable walking because of the new cane he wasn't used to. He missed the old one that he had lost in the accident. Once he was in front of the door, he ringed, he could hear the steps that came closer, and he imagined him watching him trough the peephole. Finally, the door was open, and Wilson received him with his hair uncombed, the eyes red from crying and the clothes creased.

'House' he said in a sigh if resignation 'What do you want?'

'Can I come in?' asked the limb.

'No' his friend firmly said 'What do you want?' he repeated.

'I'll tell you, if you let me come in. I must speak with you.' said House.

'We don't have anything to talk about.' answered Wilson. 'Even more, we don't have anything.'

'Let me in.' said House approaching to the door, putting his face a few centimeters away from the other one, cornering him, with one hand in the doorframe and the other one in the door, in case his friend closed it.

Wilson wasn't in the mood for a physic fight, so with a resigned sigh he fully opened the door and stepped aside.

The limp didn't answer immediately; instead he went to the couch and sat down. He raised slowly his head and looked him in the eye.

'I'm sorry.'

'House,' said Wilson raising his hands at his head level 'do you really believe that if you come here and tell me that you're sorry, everything will be okay between us?'

'No,' answered House sincerely 'because it wasn't all I came to say.'

He quickly stood up as promptly as his incapacity allowed him and with one step he was in front of his friend. And without giving the other time for anything else but to make a small whine of surprise, he took the other's head between his hands and then he out his lips over the ones of the other. And if Wilson hadn't got them firmly close, House would have get inside that mouth and would had gave him a fully kiss. Instead, he had satisfied with kissing those close lips. Ha had closed his eyes, wanting to enjoy as much as he could, while the oncologist had them open in surprise. After a while, he stepped back and he wanted to look the other one in the eye to establish a connection in the look, but even if he has expected it, he didn't saw it coming. Wilson punched him in the middle of his right cheek, using all the power of his left.

House fell onto the floor, and in spite of the damage in his back and left arm, without considering the punch he had received, nothing made him more hurt that the death stare that Wilson gave him. The hate was all over his eye, a heavy breathing as a furious bull.

'How could you be capable?' repugnance coming over every word he said 'Do you think that I'm just another game, another experiment of yours?' then, he stopped himself and he inspired and exhaled a couple of times. 'How…' he hesitated 'are you capable of mocking in a moment like this?'

The repulsion that Wilson emitted hurt House in the very deep. That his best friend hated him so much it was like a knife that was stabbed in a heart that he denied for a long time.

'Don't you respect me at all?' some pain was hint in the last word.

Then, House understood that he had to humiliate himself in order to make the other one understand that he really mean it. Humiliate himself so hard and irreversible that left no place for doubts, and there was only a way that somebody like him could get so low.

'Shit, Wilson.' he said as he stood up and with the back of his hand he cleaned the blood that came out of the chapped lip. 'Don't you see that this isn't a joke? If I kissed you was because I feel something for you. It seems that I'm gay (although it's only with you), and one desperate, by the way.

'House, I will not fall again in your games.' said Wilson 'What's more, I won't give you the opportunity. Get out.'

Then, the nephrologists understood how deep he would have to humiliate himself.

'Wilson, damn it.' he said while he took him by the arms and shook him. 'Don't you understand that… I love you? Yes, fuck, there, you heard it. I love you. I need you, damn it, I need you on my side always even when you don't feel in the same way I do. There you have it, I said it all. Happy now? I completely humiliated myself.

'Sorry, House' sad Wilson slowly setting himself free from the diagnostician. 'I don't love you. I love Amber.' the dark brown eyes were cold as ice. 'And if I felt something for you once, it wasn't anything more that affection for that… that kind of weird friendship that we had. But now, I don't feel anything for you.'

House was desperate, he was about to lose him forever, and without any comeback. He realized that he had only one more card to play, it wasn't any ace up on his sleeve, and it was more of a suicide try. If this didn't work, then nothing would, and House would have to admit his failure.

Wilson didn't even had time to complain when he saw the nephrologists move towards his direction and he made the mistake of opening his mouth to say something, something House took advantage of it to kiss him fully. Because that was his last card, a passionate kiss that could break the other's barrier. And he enjoyed every second that passed; he covered with his tongue every nook of that mouth. He tasted with lust the delicate taste of Wilson, sweet and soft, and with something that made it unique that he wasn't able to identify. But then passion turned into sadness and bitterness, because he notices that the other's lips were still and that the tongue was resting. He kissed him a bit more before accepting failure and stepped away.

'Are you done?' asked Wilson.

The nephrologist didn't answer and just stared at him.

'Then, leave' he said bending down to pick up House's cane and give it to him with the arms spread out without looking at him.

House took it and headed to the door. His hand stopped before turning the door handle, like if he wanted to say something more, but then, everything had been said. Finally, he opened the door and closed it after he was out. The knock of the door against the doorframe resounded in his ears. House stood there still, with the hand still weakly holding the handle. And he let himself fall without the will to move, sitting with the back laying on the piece of wood that kept him separate from his chances to be happy. The look lost in the emptiness, he was unable to accept the fact that he had lost him and forever.

And Wilson also stay stood up there, terrible sorry, because he felt that he had lost his friend too. He felt alone, smashed down to pieces and more than alone. His heart was in grief, because not only Amber had abandoned him, but also his best friend. Because that one that had just left trough his door was nothing more than the last remains of a friendship that had never truly existed.

When Wilson took his hand to his face, pressing with the finger the upper part of his nose to hold the tears, he felt it. An unmistakable humidity, one of a tear. But not one of his own, because his eyes were still dry. House had been crying when he kissed him, not too much, but enough for his finger to feel the texture of the salt water. Then he couldn't take it anymore and he cried bitterly.

When the tears started to dry up, a thought kept floating in his head. The reason for so much pain. Because mattering what, House would always continue being his best friend; although he wanted to hate him with all his heart, he couldn't. House would always be his friend.

He stood up slowly and opened the door, and he found him sitting there, staring at nowhere until he looked up onto him. The face was showing a bottomless bitterness.

'Do you wanna watch a movie?' asked Wilson.

'Sounds good' answered the elder one getting up.

The both entered the apartment and they sat on the couch for watching the movie. Neither of both paid really attention to the images that the screen of the television showed. Maybe Wilson didn't feel back what House felt, but he will always be his friend, without matter what.

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_You can't always get what you want, House._

_But sometimes you get what you need._

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_**A.N.: **I thought about this fic when I was wondering that everytime that House realised he in love with Wilson, it's enough that he kiss Wilson for the other to know that he is in love with him too o that he was already in love with him.  
But I've never read one where Wilson just didn't feel the same way that House...  
Also it seemed interesting that Wilson punched House, and that was only possible if it happened aftr Amber's death...  
And how I thought it was interesting...  
I hope you liked it!

Comment!! =P


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